JbChubbywrestler's blog

I couldn't agree with you more. There's one that I keep asking ,but he never answers the question. So...his loss, not mine. You almost have to look at it that way. As I have told you, I would be honored to wrestle you. If I can get down your way, you have a match!!

Aw sorry dude that it keeps happening. But it does happen in some capacity. I've had others cancel last min or ghost after plans have been made. I've never done the same, but I have sometimes just not logged in for a while because i've been too busy/stressed/not in the mood/etc. It's never personal. It's always a them problem, not a you problem. Though sometimes you have to respect yourself and hold them accountable for wasting your time. But you seem like a very popular guy anyway, so i see a lot more matches in your future!

Yes, spot on!! The biggest thing that irritates me are the ones that you send a message to and will not respond. I’m an adult, if you don’t want to have a match, just tell me. It won’t hurt my feelings, everyone has there preferences. Or the ones that chat, think this is going to happen, then nothing. These must be the ones that like to talk wrestling, not doing it.

I fully agree, this is really unbearable at a point. There are a few people near me, perfect match : same style, same wishes... And when I contact, either ghosting or saying "aaaahhh sadly I am about to meet someone else" after almost one year without a meet... or another with "aaaahhh I have no time" and meeting other guys, as you say ^^.

The worst is about ghosting or finding excuses. Some mature behavior would just be to write "I don't want to meet you, it wouldn't be in my taste" and that's it.

More globally, people taking excuse that "no answer is an answer" just don't get the point about a social community in that style.

Much support to you anyway.

Another day, same discussion. This is a global website, and cultural differences are real. In some cultures directness is discouraged, in others it’s expected. If they don’t want to meet you, that’s their choice, best to accept it and move on

From various countries or cultures, ok. Not from a few kilometers ;). But you're right, of course it's a matter of going on.

But consider that if that behavior was systematic, it would become very difficult to have meets.

Better to have mature adult people saying "Not my taste" and that's it. The rest is just excuses ;).

Would it though? I think people that want to meet say that they want to meet 😄

I'm talking about local culture,where I am from. If you're not interested in meeting,just say so. Giving excuses like "I'm busy this weekend", or " I have injury lately" is giving signals that you will be open for meeting up next time. Just give a direct and straight forward answer like " I'm not interested", or "I wrestle people around my size" , like what other normal people do would be great

I understand but they should have the common decency to at least message back with a No Thankyou.

Some guys are refusing and I just want a match with my favorites, life is really unfair.🥲

How are you so certain that they are unable to meet you because of something related to you?
People have very busy, complicated lives. Things change, there are other factors in play.. and no, we don't get to know everything that's going on.
In many situations, it's really none of our business anyway.
Best to move on.. instead of jumping to a very specific conclusion that fits your (negative) expectation.

What if someone could not commit fully because they are a caregiver for a relative with a significant health condition?
Or they were called into work at the last minute and they cannot afford to skip a shift?
And no, they don't have to tell you all of that. It's none of your business.

In my case, it's simply because in my area there are only 3 people who aren't willing to meet each other.

I only replied because he's on my list of favorites and people I'd like to have a match with :)

Totally agree. Post feels entitled in my view.

I've said this to a few people: your best bet is to develop a personal wrestling network of guys that you know and have wrestled with before. Guys that you have hit it off with and are reliable. This is what I did. I had about a dozen guys that I (and they) knew could be called on, sometimes at short notice. Of course, I had the advantage of having my own ringed fighting space at the bottom of the back garden! It proved to be a big draw.

My experience of MeetFighters is that it is largely a voyeur's place for guys big into the overall wrestling fetish. That is not a criticism. Each to their own, and my wrestling stories and artwork feed into that.

It takes a lot, in terms of basic fitness, skill and raw aggression, to be a wrestler, and the majority of guys on MeetFighters do not have that. Again, not a criticism of people here, but if you understand this from the beginning and don't waste time on guys that enjoy just talking about wrestling as opposed to actually doing it. Then your efforts will be better rewarded.

Find one or two guys that are solid with you in terms of skill and willingness. Over time you can add to them, then start tag-teaming or arranging small 'wrestling parties' – doers only. Then, before you know it, you'll have your own functional wrestling network.

'wrestler4u'

So true. People should just be honest and stop wasting other people’s time.

It's not really a "Meetfighters problem". It's the case for almost any dating apps.

First and foremost, if someone is ghosting, consider it as a "no". It's not nice, I agree BUT there is an easy explanation to this and it comes from a straightforward answer.
Sometimes, when you say "No sorry, not interested", you get trashed / harrassed for just saying the truth. So, people tried to give excuses "Sorry, my knee is injured" "I have my cousin's birthday" or anything to politely say "No" without getting insulted / harrassed in return.
Now, as we're shaming people who give excuses, they tend to just ghost. Because, no matter what they did before, it didn't work. So, for them, ghosting is objectively the best way to deny someone without many consequences.

Accept it or not, every behavior has a starting point. From my experience, saying "No" is clearly not enough for most guys. Only few give a "Ok, I understand" message. The rest either give you insults or keep spamming you over and over until you give them a little attention and I don't like ghosting or click on the block button, those are my last solution to intrusive dude.

It's lame, upsetting and frustrating. I've been ghosted and denied too, several times and in many differents ways. Just move on. If people act a certain way, there is a reason. We shouldn't shame on them for that.

I have to say having chats reset every 3 months doesn’t really help with this

Stretto has the perfect answer to this situation. it's nothing personal. people have their preferences and that's with any other site as well. I know that this isn't a dating app, but some people treat it as it were. just move on. there are many more men who would enjoy getting together with you for some wrestling fun. by the way. what is happening to you now. it's been happening for years and years. I had a friend back in the 80's who would schedule with someone. he would set up a meeting. if he didn't like what he saw he would just walk right past them. it was upsetting to me, but that is the way he was. this wrestling community is no different than any other that you have been in.

Absolutely. Who hasn’t been denied a match with someone they wanted to wrestle?

Well said - just move on.

💯 Stretto.

I try to be upfront and honest, and often I am, but it's not easy when I've had countless backlashes from people who don't handle rejection well or won't take no for an answer. I apply if it's not an enthusiastic yes, then it's a no to this.

We also don't owe an explanation for why our answer is no (which should be respected not expected), which in my experience often leads to the other person trying to circumvent said no with supposed solutions.

I've also recently often told people I'm not available/accepting challenges to matches right now but had other matches organised at a similar time with people I already know, trust and have had matches with before, because my availability is subject to my decision-making, not a prospective opponents desire. My free time is both precious and scarce so I'm content with having significantly fewer meetups in lieu of using my own free time to my own preference and need. This would still hold true if I had an abundance of free time, it's mine to give away or use as I choose.

Had this happen with a guy a few months ago where I told him I was injured and not doing any serious matches and then he proceeded to spam me weekly and call me a liar because I met a newcomer for some play wrestling

It's very good when someone finds time and takes the trouble to write a polite "no thank you", including a reasonable reason (!) whatever it is. I think we should register this, and encourage it. Indeed, I generally persist in my view that the tone of this website is one of politeness, tolerance, mutual consideration.

BUT ... Yesterday, I wrote to a new MF member who seems to live a mere bus ride away from me: - just to say, welcome. No response ... but by this morning he's blocked me. Absolutely his right of course, but a quick, polite "no thanks" (with or without reason) is surely more in the "tone" of our excellent website?

Yes, I really have found most people here really agreeable - even when they don't want to meet me.

Blocking? Well, let's just say I am NOT a fan!

Wow blocking you for just offering a greeting. That’s just rude. Good riddance to bad garbage.

Thank you, RobertW, for your kind response. I am OLD; he is young. I understand that he's not interested. But yes, I agree: the zero response + block is, in my view too, plain rude.

I can go one better!
A few guys have joined from my country and blocked me immediately...I never even looked at their profile, never sent a message, didn't know they existed till I noticed they blocked me.
I always send a welcome message to new guys (the ones who didn't block me at first sight) and I'd say 80% go ignored.
This site used to be a community, since it became an App it's become a pseudo Grindr, with all the same lack of social etiquette that abounds there.
The new guys are not here to meet, most don't even post a profile pic, go through the first 100 profiles in my country and you'll see all zero opponents, almost zero pics.

And I mean that probably everyone already had this kind of stories which I find quite sad and frustrating 🙃

Not completely true. It’s actually not easy for everyone to tell the truth (psychologically speaking).

Truth is easier for the brain.
Lies are easier for the ego.

Yes, wrestling is physical but aesthetics aren’t always what determines chemistry in the ring, on the mats, or depending on your flavor - the mattress.

“White lies” are often a form of social smoothing to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or judgment.

It’s common for people to lie to dodge immediate discomfort. It’s a short-term emotional shield.

Everyone knows everyone is notified of everything in this community.

Someone once told me this story about a chair.

They said, ‘If a chair looks sturdy but every time you go to sit on it, it wobbles, creaks, or slides away… you don’t argue with the chair. You stop trying to sit on it.’

The chair isn’t evil. It’s not lying. It’s just showing you what it can hold.

And your body is smart enough to read the wobble.

People are the same.

If someone says, ‘No, no, I want you here,’ but their actions keep wobbling, slow replies, no initiation, weird excuses… you don’t need to decode it.

You just stop trying to sit.

If they want you, they’ll pull the chair back out.

There are plenty of guys who would wrestle a chubby wrestler. All the best to you, mate!

Wise advice in life and in wrestling.

Soo true, I've always thought that guys supposed to be more "man of his words".
The best one for me was a guy which texting me for a long time. The whole conversations were nice and hot sometimes. We talking about the meeting. When I've tried to be more specific re the meeting he... blocked me 🫣🤣 it was shock for me. Now I'm used to it unfortunately. Many guys from here also point that problem. Guys!!! We are man, we can handle rejection, we will not go the first bridge. We are grown ups so please treat each other with honestly.
JBChubby you look great a I would wrestle with ypu man! Have a good one!

No lies in your post. Some just like getting off on the potential of a match. When you try to get more specific/apply more pressure for a meeting, it's like a bucket of cold water on their fantasy. So they immediately get turned off.