ChrisWrestling's blog

We really need to stop giving low effort people the time of day on here. I know I'm not the first person to write about this and this is probably not even the first time I've written about it but it warrants saying over and over til people get a clue.  

If you go into the chat rooms and all you have to say is "hi" or "how are you" you are contributing to the death of the chat rooms.  Constantly going in there and advertising for yourself or sharing the same photos over and over kills the conversation.

This is especially true for messaging people directly on here. This is one I got 6 months ago and then again today: 

him: Looking strong

me: Thanks

him: Of course. Looking?

me: Looking?

Him Yeah. Just came to ____ and i will stay for a couple of days

me: Ok

today:

Him: Handsome man

Me: welcome back, what can I do for you?

Him: What are you interested in doing with me? I will take that

This person's profile is basically empty so this is really all I have to go on.  Sure you can point out that I didn't give him anything, it's not my place to.  He reached out to me, my profile is full, I'm a member of several groups, I blog somewhat regularly, I have photos from various matches, I am very clear about what I want in my profile.  The thing is, when you call these people out, they immediately vilify you with no sense of self reflection whatsoever.  When you get the effortless first message and you ignore it, they vilify you.  You either do all the carrying of the conversation or you're an asshole and I'm sorry but if you're the one saying hi, you should absolutely follow that up in the first message with something of substance.  "Hey, I'm visiting Oct 3-5, and love submission wrestling.  I'm free between ____ hours, are you interested in meeting up?"  That's not hard, you got your friendly greeting in, you stated your purpose, and now the other person has something to go off of.  Don't be shy about talking about what you're into, if someone isn't into it, move on, you aren't going to get them to want to play with you that way if it's not their thing so beating around the bush isn't going to convince them. Read the person's profile and start with common ground.

Circling back to the chat rooms, if you are in a special interest group, talk about the special interest.  No one in the ball busting group doesn't want to talk about ball busting.  People in the bearhug group, want to talk about bearhugs.